I don't know how many people there are around here in the PacNW, but I
know there's at least one... Can anybody, or anybody that may've spent
any decent amount of time in that area, possibly tell me what I might be
able to do to find some people that aren't totally into the
passive-aggressive bullshit and can be somewhat straight-up with their
thoughts and feelings on things instead of hiding, stuffing, and running
away?
focused. Some of the communication breakdowns I've had here are due to
direct passive-aggressiveness that seems utterly rampant, at least in
this middle-class yuppie neighborhood that I've landed at. Other parts
of it are from people that I know aren't too into that, but seem to be
kind of cowards about bringing up things that are really important with
people in their lives; they sugarcoat to the point of the truth being
altered or completely missing.
I've always thought there can be good & bad people everywhere, people who will annoy you everywhere, etc.. I'm not sure I can say I've seen much passive-aggressiveness in the area, but perhaps that may be due to where I've spent most of my time. I think how you react to peoples' communications is important too. If people come across as sugarcoating things, it might be that they simply don't want to come across as harsh or too blunt. I think it's good to have some amount of tact when
communicating with others. Some people also just don't like to make waves or come across as a thorn in someone's side as far as bringing up little things here and there.
self-focused, and inconsiderate. When we first moved into this community we are in now for the last 2-3 years, we said hello to our neighbors and made an attempt to connect -- we failed. There's just too many weird personalities.
One woman (who lives directly across from us) even yelled at me for something a previous tenant did. I swallowed it, and made an attempt to reconnect, and she kept up her attitude and anger.
But as far as sugarcoating is concerned, I would wish they did more of that
i always say hi when i go past someone. at my job there's actually
people that will look you in the eye when you say hi and they wont even respond. that's a bit weird. i give them 3 hi's and then they are
banned from my hi's :D
forward and walking, apparently oblivious to anyone around them and not noticing that I said hi. Another thing I find slightly annoying is when I say "How are you?" and people don't answer and simply say "Hi". It seems a lot of people don't think of "How are you?" as a sincere question and consider it another form of "Hi".
i always say hi when i go past someone. at my job there's actually people that will look you in the eye when you say hi and they wont even respond. that's a bit weird. i give them 3 hi's and then they are banned from my hi's :D
i do have someone who's a neighbor who is a bit weird and apparently tried to get information about me and wanted me to get him a job at where i worked(he had my employer confused).
Then he was constantly approached me when he saw me
and tried to talk. something about this guy i just didnt like so i've
kept my distance. sure enough, later on i find out he's a big shit talker. he also has some criminal history and cant not leave the state.
so i guess i'm friendly to a point. i'm not out to find new lifelong friends, though. i've got enough friends, i dont chat up people but i wont go out of my way to give someone a bad day about something stupid.
I've always thought there can be good & bad people everywhere, people who will annoy you everywhere, etc.. I'm not sure I can say I've seen much passive-aggressiveness in the area, but perhaps that may be due to where I've spent most of my time. I think how you react to peoples' communications is important too. If people come across as sugarcoating things, it might be that they simply don't want to come across as harsh or too blunt. I think it's good to have some amount of tact when communicating with others. Some people also just don't like to make waves or come across as a thorn in someone's side as far as bringing up little things here and there.
But as far as sugarcoating is concerned, I would wish they did more of that here. Everyone is far too blunt, far too cold. A few smiles and a hand shake would sure seem reasonable to me.
There are limits of course. Creepy hyper-friendly people who snarl behind your back ("fake") are just as bad. But something in between is reasonable.
quite a few places in between. You're absolutely right, as well, about
tact, and the like. When it's carried out to the point where people are
straight up lying and faking reactions in order to come across the way
that goes over best socially, though, it's gone a little bit too far.
One of the key places that they've mentioned it to me in has been racism;
Portland loves to say how wonderful and self-fart-sniffingly perfect and
tolerant it is, yet there's an undercurrent (and quite the history, as
well) of racism underneath that just isn't voiced as loudly as other
places. It's still quite evident in the actions that people take when
not under direct scrutiny, though.
That's true. Maybe I just haven't noticed it so much though.. Or maybe it's that I grew up in the area and I'm used to it? I dunno.. I can't say I have had the impression that a lot of people in the area that people around the area have been lying/faking just to come across more acceptable to me though.
I've heard people say that, and I'm always surprised to hear people say it. I think there are racist people pretty much anywhere (including the NW area), but I suppose I've had the good fortune of not having known many racist people here (or maybe not many outwardly racist people). The northwest US is one of the more diverse places in the country, with people from all over the world. I feel like it's an everyday thing to see people from different places in the world out and about, and to hear various different languages spoken when you're out running errands & things. I've often had the impression that most people in the area are relatively tolerant. I'd be curious what part of town you're in (although you don't need to voice it publicly), as I suppose different areas in the region may be different.
Maybe it does have something to do with the neighborhood, or maybe even
the personalities that are corroborating my evidence (as well as my
own). There's also the bit about how a couple of my data points are
people that I've met doing online dating, which is usually a kind of
exclusive subset of people that doesn't really give a good read on the
whole population of an area.
I've heard people say that, and I'm always surprised to hear people
say it. I think there are racist people pretty much anywhere
(including the NW area), but I suppose I've had the good fortune of
not having known many racist people here (or maybe not many
outwardly racist people). The northwest US is one of the more
diverse places in the country, with people from all over the world.
Well, to be honest, I've gotten a lot more sensitive to this issue since
I've got a mixed race son. I was extremely ignorant about the whole
issue, growing up in North Dakota, for a very long time. It wasn't
until I started dating on the east coast, where I first got some
contrast to my pale ass, where I really started to learn more on the
issue, down to how it personally affects individuals. I mean there was
basically just no chance to learn about anything of the sort in NoDak,
unless it was about native american culture. Most of the communities I
lived in there, to that point, however, were biased to the point where
the natives and the whites wouldn't mix, except a bit at school. There
were never really any strong friendships that crossed the lines.
Anyway, what I've seen here is a hell of a lot better than the blatant
racism that I've seen in other areas of the country, I'll give it that
for sure.
The history that I'm talking about, though, is of the night
curfews for 'people of color', and other unjust laws like that.
black population). There is a rift going on about that right now, and I
believe it's quoted pretty heavily in that NE neighborhood that I was
referencing before, as well, because the same thing might be starting to
happen there. Either way, I'm planning on moving to that area as soon as
I've got a choice in where I end up, because I don't want my son to feel
so alone, and that community seems to be a lot more outspoken about
what's going on in the cranium at any given point. ;) I respect that
I've done online dating, and I've actually had pretty good luck with it. Most of them didn't last more than a few dates, but nonetheless they were still generally good people; it just tended not to work out. I'm in a good relationship right now with someone I met online, so it can work out.
I have a mixed race relative in my family, from a mixed race marriage. I can't think of a time when racism has ever been an issue due to that. Again, could just be a difference in the area we live in.. not sure.
I agree. I've visited a few other places in the US, and there seems to be more blatant racism in other parts of the country - and that's one of the reasons why I probably wouldn't want to live there.
Are you talking about NW Oregon? I grew up in this area and I haven't heard of any such laws like that in this area. I'd honestly be surprised to hear about that being true.
I've often heard about the NE area being a more high-crime area, particularly out toward Gresham. I'm not sure if I'd feel good about living there.. I've always lived on the west side & the western suburbs, which I feel like are nicer areas.
pretty often. I'm used to California (Sacramento) and Jersey; people's greetings usually having a 'fuck you' in them, and too much eye contact (sometimes any at all, at least in Sacramento) being met with an
immediate challenge to a fight. I am most definitely glad to be away
I've done online dating, and I've actually had pretty good luck with
it. Most of them didn't last more than a few dates, but nonetheless
I've had a couple of matches that've lasted awhile, but that's been
spread out over quite a few years' time. I'm starting to think that
it's just a lot better to meet people in person, though the last woman
that I went out on a few dates with from IRL meeting ended up being far
too ambitious to have time for a relationship. Then again, I'm really
isolated here, still, so I'll probably not end up stopping browsing
okcupid or pof any time soon. :)
God the first time that my parents found out that I was in a
relationship with someone who wasn't white they laughed. Like, it was
so impossible in their mindset that they literally thought that I was
just trying to mess with their heads or something. Yet, they weren't 'racist' in their own definition. They also felt that people of
different ethnicities shouldn't be involved as more than friends because of 'the problems that it caused', though, when pressed for definition of these problems, they never were able to get more specific than that.
Yeah, that shit sucks, for sure. I really have to say, though, I appreciate a good 'fuck you' to the face more than I appreciate someone who smiles, acts like they want to be friends, and then talks shit
behind closed doors.
Are you talking about NW Oregon? I grew up in this area and I
haven't heard of any such laws like that in this area. I'd honestly
be surprised to hear about that being true.
Lake Oswego, suburb of Portland. Until 1963 they had enforced sunset laws; ie, if you're a person of color, don't let the sun set while
you're out and about or you're subject to arrest.
http://everything2.com/title/Lake+Oswego%252C+Oregon is just the first
hit I found doing a web search for references. There are plenty of
others.
They're like dogs.
One thing I like about online dating is that you get to see some information about someone (at least, what's in their profile) before meeting them. I think that has some advantages over randomly meeting someone in person who you don't know anything about, then taking some time & effort just to know the basics and find out you might not be compatible. When you're able to see someone's basic information from their profile, it can be a little easier to tell whether they might be a good match for you or not.
I don't really understand that type of thinking in people. And of course, as you said, people usually can't come up with specific reasoning when you press them for it.
I've visited Brazil a few times, and one thing I noticed there is that there doesn't seem to be much (if any) vibe of racism there at all. There are many people in Brazil who are mixed race (and mixed many generations back as well), usually a combination of black, white, and native. It seems common for people there who are white, black, and mixed race to all intermix and have friends of color. It felt like race is really a non-issue. I thought it was refreshing to not have to think about that, whereas in some parts of the US, I sometimes hear people make comments about peoples' color as if it matters somehow.
Ah, I see. I thought you meant that law was in effect now or recently. I could understand laws like that being in place all over the US in the early 1960s though, since that was the norm back then, and social reforms were just starting to take place back then. So I wouldn't think it was just the pacific NW. However, I have heard by word of mouth that Lake Oswego tends to have a mostly white population. I grew up in Beaverton, which is where I'm currently living now (more toward the Hillsboro/Aloha side now), and I've always thought it's a nice area with a fairly good mix of people.
Ah, I see. I thought you meant that law was in effect now or recently. I could understand laws like that being in place all over the US in the early 1960s though, since that was the norm back then, and social reforms were just starting to take place back then. So I wouldn't think it was just the pacific NW. However, I have heard by word of mouth that Lake Oswego tends to have a mostly white population. I grew up in Beaverton, which is where I'm currently living now (more toward the Hillsboro/Aloha side now), and I've always thought it's a nice area with a fairly good mix of people.
population. I grew up in Beaverton, which is where I'm currently
living now (more toward the Hillsboro/Aloha side now), and I've always
thought it's a nice area with a fairly good mix of people.
I got up to Beaverton once a year or so to visit family up there in Beaverton and Portland. Coming from the San Francisco Bay Area where it is very mixed racially and culturally, it feels very white in Beaverton. I've definitely heard some statements up there in my times visiting from random people about other races. But, I've heard that everywhere too.
Is there anyone you approve of in this world?
Is there anyone you approve of in this world?
Is there anyone you approve of in this world?
My guess is himself... he's a legend in his own mind. :)
Certainly nobody with unquestioned American values, though.
Khelair wrote to Heliarc <=-
Is there anyone you approve of in this world?
Ghandi.
What exactly are "American Values"? America is as diverse as you are going to find. The values in Philadelphia, PA are going to be much different than those in Death Valley, CA. Please elaborate on that.
that A) American culture is superior because we are 'free' and all conflict that we're involved in is because people hate us for our 'freedom' (and inherent superiority for having such).
Re: PacNW Passive-Aggressiveness
By: Ronald Reid to Khelair on Thu Nov 13 2014 06:09:19
What exactly are "American Values"? America is as diverse as you are going to find. The values in Philadelphia, PA are going to be much different than those in Death Valley, CA. Please elaborate on that.
Well you hit that mistake of mine spot on. I wasn't nearly specific enoug When shit really rubs me the wrong way, I make the mistake of thinking that talking to people that know me as well as those that I spend a lot of time around pretty often. They would've understood what I meant, but not a lot o others.
Maybe it would've been more clear if I would've said 'belief in capitalism or 'western democracy'. Either way it's still not nearly as specific as I should be, I suppose. What I'm talking about are the beliefs that A) Americ culture is superior because we are 'free' and all conflict that we're involv in is because people hate us for our 'freedom' (and inherent superiority for having such). That's not really all of it either, though. Belief that capitalism and the free market are reasons for our success, when the very position that the Federal Reserve holds in our economy and government blows notion that we HAVE a truly free market out of the water. The belief that t anti-monopoly act is truly enforced, etc...
The arrogance in general, I suppose? I don't know, I put it together pret well in my head when I first read this message, but didn't have the motivati to write it... Now that I've got the motivation to write, it seems more lik I just want to spill out everything that I see as wrong with this culture.
I'll send this for now, I'm pretty sure I'll have my head around a more concise definition of what I was thinking of within a relatively short amoun of time.
You guys selectively read, and when you're not doing that, you
assume that I've written the whole story. This isn't my blog
here, guys,
If you'd bothered with any of these things, you'd quickly find
that I'm just as critical of myself as I am of other people, if
not moreso.
Have you thought of maybe putting together an argument about
why I think I'm legend in my own mind? Maybe looking back
through some posts to get information to cite to back that up?
Eh, I don't even know why I'm bothering. It was certainly no
surprise seeing The Curmudgeon's handle at the top of that ad
hominem or whatever common logical fallacy that it was
vocalizing support.
I've heard that the US has many military bases in other
countries, and I can see how other countries wouldn't like
that. I think it would be good to try to keep out of other
countries' business more and try to improve things back home
more.
Ummm, you have heard of NATO and or SEATO I'm hoping. Also many countries don't have much of a standing military and actually ask for assistance. Diplomats , however, have a far different agenda and not always in the best interest of either country. :)
Diplomats , however, have a far different agenda and not
always in the best interest of either country. :)
That's when we call up 'Atlas Corporation' and have them take
care of it!
* Joking reference from the latest Call of Duty: Advanced
Warfare game, is all. Don't take it seriously. :)
I've done online dating, and I've actually had pretty good luck with
it. Most of them didn't last more than a few dates, but nonetheless
I've had a couple of matches that've lasted awhile, but that's been
spread out over quite a few years' time. I'm starting to think that
it's just a lot better to meet people in person, though the last woman
that I went out on a few dates with from IRL meeting ended up being far
too ambitious to have time for a relationship. Then again, I'm really
isolated here, still, so I'll probably not end up stopping browsing
okcupid or pof any time soon. :)
God the first time that my parents found out that I was in a
relationship with someone who wasn't white they laughed. Like, it was
so impossible in their mindset that they literally thought that I was
just trying to mess with their heads or something. Yet, they weren't 'racist' in their own definition. They also felt that people of differentethnicities shouldn't be involved as more than friends because
of 'the problems that it caused', though, when pressed for definition of these problems, they never were able to get more specific than that.
Yeah, thatshit sucks, for sure. I really have to say, though, I appreciate a good 'fuck you' to the face more than I appreciate someone who smiles, acts like they want to be friends, and then talks shit
behind closed doors.
Are you talking about NW Oregon? I grew up in this area and I
haven't heard of any such laws like that in this area.I'd honestly
be surprised to hear about that being true.
Lake Oswego, suburb of Portland. Until 1963 they had enforced sunset laws; ie, if you're a person of color, don't let the sun set while
you're out and about or you're subjectto arrest.
http://everything2.com/title/Lake+Oswego%252C+Oregon is just the first
hit I found doing a web search for references. There are plenty of
others.
Re: PacNW Passive-Aggressiveness
By: Ronald Reid to Khelair on Thu Nov 13 2014 06:09:19
What exactly are "American Values"? America is as diverse as you are going to find. The values in Philadelphia, PA are going to be much different than those in Death Valley, CA. Please elaborate on that.
Well you hit that mistake of mine spoton. I wasn't nearly specific enoug When shit really rubs me the wrong way, I make the mistake of thinking that talking to people that know me as well as those that I spend a lot of time around pretty often. They would've understood what I meant, but not a lot o others.
Maybe it would've been more clear if I would've said 'belief in capitalism or 'western democracy'. Either way it's still not nearly as specific as I should be, I suppose. What I'm talking about are the beliefs that A) Americ culture is superior because we are 'free' and all conflict that we're involv in is because people hate us for our 'freedom' (and inherent superiority for having such). That's not really all of it either, though. Belief that capitalism and the free market are reasons for our success, when the very position that the Federal Reserve holds in our economy and government blows notion that we HAVE a truly free market out of the water. The belief that t anti-monopoly act is truly enforced, etc...
The arrogance in general, I suppose? I don't know, I put it together pret well in my head when I first read this message, but didn't have the motivati to write it... Now that I've got the motivation to write, it seems more lik I just want to spill out everything that I see as wrong with this culture.
I'll send this for now, I'm pretty sure I'll have my head around a more concise definition of what I was thinking of within a relatively short amoun of time.
For reasons unknown to us Access Denied said thus to The Curmudgeon:
Diplomats , however, have a far different agenda and not
always in the best interest of either country. :)
That's when we call up 'Atlas Corporation' and have them take
care of it!
Yeah, sounds like a plan to me. :)
* Joking reference from the latest Call of Duty: Advanced
Warfare game, is all. Don't take it seriously. :)
I didn't. :) Believe it or not I do have a sense of humor.... err.. sometimes. <g>
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U
Acckkk Pfffffttttttt yahoo gaylenhintz ==================================================================
* PowerSIG/Win32 v2.00/alpha 1
... I'm not paranoid,it's just that everyone's out to get me!
___ TagDude 0.92ss+[GH] with 23,200 taglines.
corroborated such opinions. I've had a lot of people that I've met enough t chat about things with that've told me the same. One of the key places that
See that was the very first thing that I noticed when I moved here... It' absolutely wonderful, just walking up the street in this place. I've never lived anywhere where 4 out of 5 people will make eye contact with you, maint it, and give you a warm smile; one that almost always touches the eyes, even Hell, random friendly discussions even pop up pretty often.
I'm used to California (Sacramento) and Jersey; people's
greetings usually
having a 'fuck you' in them, and too much eye contact (sometimes any at all, least in Sacramento) being met with an immediate challenge to a fight. I am most definitely glad to be away from that shit.
That's the problem. The hyper-friendly people snarling behind the back ar what I'm dealing with here right now. I might go into more detail later, bu
I'm hoping to find that happy medium somewhere around here. It seems like there is still a much greater likelihood for finding something like that aro
I would never ask anyone "how they are", because first of all,
that question is very intimate. What business is it of anyone,
how someone is? And what a weird question anyway, when you think
about it. How.. someone.. IS? So their "ISNESS" has to be somehow dissected, analyzed and explained? Or the "quality" of their
"being"?
In a way, it's very handy and a relief that people ignore each other, though, once you get used to it. It liberates you from having to stop your flow of thoughts just because there are other people around and someone might be approaching. It lets you do whatever you want, think whatever you want, and not HAVE to do anything you don't want. It's freedom in a sense. You can just listen to some music and ponder the mysteries of the Universe without being interrupted, so you will have more peace, peace of mind and freedom.
But I really can't understand the fake 'how are you' stuff. If you don't want to pry or be nosy about someone's "existence, and how it's happening", why would you ever utter those intruding words? Why not just greet and then express whatever you truly want to express, or if it's something you don't want to express, express nothing? What would HAPPEN, if someone didn't say their obligated "in what way do you exist right now"?
--- NIGHTFOX wrote --
I think you're overthinking that.. Pretty much everyone understands "how you?" to mean how is your day, how are you feeling, etc.. And regarding w business of yours, some people actually care and want to know how someone doing.
"how--- NIGHTFOX wrote --
I think you're overthinking that.. Pretty much everyone understands
regarding wyou?" to mean how is your day, how are you feeling, etc.. And
someonebusiness of yours, some people actually care and want to know how
woulddoing.
Heh. That never happens in England. No one serving you in a shop would ever ask you how you were doing unless they knew you personally. They
never say "have a nice day".
I've gotten used to it...
--- NIGHTFOX wrote -
I visited the UK a couple years ago (including London, York, Cambridge, an Bath in England), and I noticed that too.
It seems most people (in the US too) aren't really interested in how peopl doing. Sometimes I'm genuinely curious though. I try to be genuine when talk to people. It's disappointing that most people aren't genuine though
Nightfox wrote to Gorkh <=-
I think you're overthinking that.. Pretty much everyone understands
"how are you?" to mean how is your day, how are you feeling, etc.. And regarding what business of yours, some people actually care and want to know how someone is doing..
Nightfox wrote to Gorkh <=-
I think you're overthinking that.. Pretty much everyone understands "how are you?" to mean how is your day, how are you feeling, etc..
And regarding what business of yours, some people actually care and want to know how someone is doing..
Answering "I'm congested" always seems to confuse people.
I visited the UK a couple years ago (including London, York, Cambridge, and Bath in England), and I noticed that too..I think phrases like "how's it going?" "what's up?" or even just "heh" are idioms for announcing that you recognize someone. They are not really questions for which one should expect an answer. But it's not really that different from "Good morning" or "Bonjour" in which cases the point is not to wish the person well. It simply means that you recognize someone as being there just as you answer "hello" when the phone rings.
It seems most people (in the US too) aren't really interested in how people doing. Sometimes I'm genuinely curious though. I try to be genuine when I talk to people. It's disappointing that most people aren't genuine though..
I think phrases like "how's it going?" "what's up?" or even just "heh" are idioms for announcing that you recognize someone. They are not really questions for which one should expect an answer. But it's not really that different from "Good morning" or "Bonjour" in which cases the point is not to wish the person well. It simply means that you recognize someone as being there just as you answer "hello" when the phone rings.
I would never ask anyone "how they are", because first of all,
that question is very intimate. What business is it of anyone,
how someone is? And what a weird question anyway, when you think
about it. How.. someone.. IS? So their "ISNESS" has to be somehow dissected, analyzed and explained? Or the "quality" of their
"being"?
I think you're overthinking that.. Pretty much everyone understands "how ar you?" to mean how is your day, how are you feeling, etc.. And regarding wha business of yours, some people actually care and want to know how someone is doing..
I tend to believe that you should mean what you say. If you don't expect an answer to that, then why ask? I suppose it just goes to show how people don care and aren't genuine. I'm not in the habit of asking random people "what' up?", and I suppose I'm not in the habit of asking "how are you?" very often but if I do ask that, it's because I'm feeling like making conversation and am interested. If I'm just passing someone on the sidewalk, I'd be more likely to just say "hi".I'm just pointing out that words and phrases mean what convention dictates. You recognize that "how are you?" delivered in passing doesn't solicit a medical history, so just go with it and say "fine" like most of us do.
an answer to that, then why ask? I suppose it just goes to show how people don't care and aren't genuine. I'm not in the habit of asking random people "what's up?", and I suppose I'm not in the habit of asking "how are
I tend to believe that you should mean what you say. If you don't
expect an answer to that, then why ask? I suppose it just goes to
I'm just pointing out that words and phrases mean what convention dictates. You recognize that "how are you?" delivered in passing doesn't solicit a medical history, so just go with it and say "fine" like most of us do.
an answer to that, then why ask? I suppose it just goes to show how
people don't care and aren't genuine. I'm not in the habit of asking
random people "what's up?", and I suppose I'm not in the habit of
asking "how are
They're figures of speach. Rhetorical questions. "What's up" just means... hello. Other languages have similar phrases. (Of course, I can't think of any, but I remember going over a list of them a long time ago in spanish and french classes in high school. :)
I think phrases like "how's it going?" "what's up?" or even just "heh" are idioms for announcing that you recognize someone. They are not really questions for which one should expect an answer. But it's not really that
I tend to believe that you should mean what you say. If you don't expect
an answer to that, then why ask? I suppose it just goes to show how people
It's interesting that such things can be so localized.
I have had my share of full-on passive-aggressive pleasing-mode blasted to my face, and I have to say, I'd rather have taken active-aggressive blasting instead, even with a little bit of physical violence (though in my opinion, there is no other kind - anything else should be called something else. Violence belongs to the realm of the physical, and it is simultaneously
also the 'else').
Seriously, I am so fed-up with liars, dishonesty, trying to please others on the surface to get what you want (for example, for them to like you), and all that cowardice crap.
I am honest, and endeavour to be honest in all situations, always. If someone asks me if their dress makes them look fat, I'd rather say: "no, it's your fat that makes you look fat" than "no, honey, you look great
in any dress".
In my opinion, politeness is just structured lying for social gain. And that's just wrong, because it kills the truth, it kills the reality of communication, it kills all basis for successful message-exchange, and
it basically creates obstacles inbetween what is, and what someone
wants others to perceive to be.
I can't support politeness in any way or form.
I would never ask anyone "how they are", because first of all,
that question is very intimate. What business is it of anyone,
how someone is? And what a weird question anyway, when you think
about it. How.. someone.. IS? So their "ISNESS" has to be somehow dissected, analyzed and explained? Or the "quality" of their
"being"?
I am so glad I don't live in a country that treats that kind of lie-based-interaction as 'normal', though there are other things
that puzzle me about the country that surrounds me anyway.
It is very difficult to find honest, direct communication in this
world, and people, who are determined to make that their 'style'
of communication, no matter what the social consequences.
People are too scared of the 'social consequences', I guess. And
by lying, they actually cause much worse consequences for everyone..
.. a slow, social death of truth and real communication.
I'd rather have someone yell at me, curse at me, insult me and
tell me they hate me, as long as it's honest, than have someone
praise me and treat me 'kindly', while it's all faked and a lie,
or based on some superficial factor, like 'wanting a big tip'.
I am glad tipping is not customary in this country, either.. I
simply couldn't live in the circumstances where I was constantly
expected to either lie, or support bad business practices and
lying (it's actually paying the workers too little that necessitates
the whole stupid tipping culture. If they got paid enough, they wouldn't need the tips, and all the tipping would end).
I sometimes tip in certain situations anyway, if I am feeling generous,
if I was treated especially well, or if a cab ride had been especially good or fun or whatnot. Taxi is pretty much the only place, where
it's somewhat customary to tip a little bit, but I have used taxi
without tipping at all, and it was considered normal and not 'rude'
or anything.
Sometimes a cab driver has even questioned why I tipped them so much,
and wanted to know reasons, and I didn't expect it, so I didn't have a ready answer, .. it must've seemed a bit odd to the driver.
Ghandi.
I'd fight him.
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